Monday, December 29, 2008

Lady...it's just a card

First off, I hope everybody had a wonderful holiday. Ours was lovely and non-eventful...thank God! I did have an interesting moment though, while I was shopping for my cards. I send out the family picture ones, but I usually make my way to the card store because my aunt's birthday is 2 days before Christmas so I'm really there to get her a birthday card, but the red and green section just starts to call for me while I'm there so I get a few extras-usually for the godparents, and a cute Daddy card for my husband. This year though, I was struck by a few thoughts while perusing the daddy cards. Thought number 1: husband was probably NOT standing in front of a Mommy Christmas card section in any card store in any part of our state now or at any point of the pre-Christmas shopping frenzy. Thought number 2: the girls don't have to buy just a daddy card. Thought number 2 was especially poignant for me. My parents divorced when I was very young-I think 5 or 6. I only remember a short amount of time when they were together and one of my earliest Christmas memories is of my father telling me that this was the last Christmas we would celebrate together. I think they thought the presents would soften the blow. Their split was amicable, and really there was no drama. I often say that the best parenting they displayed was the way they handled their divorce. And considering they were only maybe 25 when it happened, and there was no Dr. Phil to tell them how not to screw us up, they did a darn good job. However, there wasn't such concern about maintaining parental relations back then so my mom never took us out to buy a gift or card for our father or vice versa. When I was old enough, I did this on my own, and made sure I always got my father a card "Merry Christmas to a Wonderful Father" and one for my mother, "Merry Christmas to a Wonderful Mother". Or I could pick the non-descript, "To my Parents" with no mention of "mom" or "dad" if I wanted to include my step-parents without making it appear that I was giving them the same reverance as a mother or father. That is how my holidays were, it is mostly what I always remembered and I never really gave it a second thought-that's just how it was. As far as I know I'm well adjusted, and I love my parents. But while I was standing in front of the cards trying to find the perfect mix of little girl cutesieness and sentiment to sign my daughters' names to, it struck me...they don't have to buy a card just for Daddy-they can get the Mommy AND Daddy cards. They have a mommy and a daddy, in the same house, who are celebrating the day with them, at the same time, who love them and each other. As ridiculous as it sounds, I almost teared up in the card store. Well, anybody who really knows me knows that it's really not THAT ridiculous that I would tear up in a card store, but that's a different story. In my head I know my mother and father could never have stayed married to each other, but a little part of me that only creeps out in card stores and when planning the seating arrangements for certain parties is sad that it went the way it did. The reason I got teary is because I realized that our marriage is a gift that my husband and I give to our children everyday. For whatever saddness I may feel regarding my parents' divorce, I am grateful for having experienced it because it helps me to realize and understand what a blessing I have in the husband and marriage I have, and for what our girls will be able to learn and experience from it. So I bought that Mommy and Daddy card and just chuckled at the confused look on my husband's face that read, "So, does this mean I'm not in trouble for not getting you a card?" Merry Christmas to me! :)

1 comment:

AmyJean {Relentless Bride®} said...

Haha... you are right... your two lovelies are very lucky to not have to get a separate mommy and separate daddy card :)

PS. garlic garlic dip rocks