Who is this person and what has she done with my child???

First, let me say I am not one of those moms who thinks her kids are perfect.  Well, the baby is, but she's a baby so what could be imperfect about her?  The other two though, I know they are not perfect.  I know Sabrina is a little too sassy sometimes, and I know Corrine likes to assert her 4 year old self even though she is only 2 and she gets away with a little bit of it because she is so darn cute about it.  I know all of this.  However, our weekend away this past weekend left me slack-jawed asking my husband, "What the hell happened to our child this weekend?"  Sabrina was atrocious even by Sabrina standards!  We went to the Poconos with my in-laws.  My father-in-law likes to try to plan at least one family outing up there for as much of the family that can make it.  Now that there are a bunch of little kids in the family again, he likes to bring us all to Knoebels, an amusement park up there somewhere.  It's fun, and this year my niece, Alexandra (Sabrina's very best favorite cousin) and her mom were with us as well as my sister-in-law and her family which includes one of Sabrina's other favorite cousins, Robby.  She was so excited to see them this weekend.  This is exactly the reason why her behavior shocked me so much. 

My niece is 2 months older than Sabrina and there is a lot of innate competition between these two girls.  Their fathers are brothers and watching these two girls interact is like watching my husband and his brother interact.  Sometimes this is good, and sometimes is volatile.  But I can't even say that my niece was the reason for her behavior, because all of the horribleness was directed at me and my husband.  Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING was an argument.  And not just your everyday, run of the mill 4 year old stubbornness.  She was literally spewing rejections, tantrums, and fresh back-talk at every turn.  I was really left stumped as to how to deal with her.  I have no problem disciplining her in front of our family, but nothing I did could snap her out of it.  She did something at one point, I caught my mother-in-law's eyes bugging in that, "OMG, I can't believe this kid just did that" look.

I just could not figure her out for the life of me this weekend.  Was she this way because she was looking for attention?  Jealous of her cousin and/or sisters for some reason?  Wanted to show everybody she was in charge?  Or do they just think that acting out will get them what they want at this age and there is no need to analyze it to the nth degree? 

Really? It's been this long already?

I was getting the girls ready for bed tonight...baths, comb hair, brush teeth, argue about one more song...the usual routine.  As I was laying down next to Sabrina (part of the 'routine') I was struck by the fact that I could hardly remember what it was like before they were born.  I love my girls, don't get me wrong, but this was not a totally heartwarming realization.  That makes me horrible, doesn't it?  It's just that, Sabrina is 4 now.  Almost 5.  How is it that 4 1/2 years can practically obliterate so many more years of memories???  My husband and I will joke every now and then with thoughts like, "Do you realize how much money we would have right now if we never had kids?" or "Do you remember when we would just be finishing a shower, for ourselves, to get ready to be going out at the same time we are now putting kids to sleep and wishing we could follow right behind them?"  How is it that 4 1/2 short years with these little people can make me almost forget any of what was once JUST me...and him too I suppose?  Does that person still exist?  Do I want her to?  Do I need her to?  I was not wild and crazy, but I did have stuff I liked to do.  And I know I can still do the things I liked to do, but it's different now.  If you're a mom, people can tell you all the time, "Oh, you need to take your 'me time'", but we all know that never works out as well as it sounds.  Truthfully, I don't need a lot of me time right now.  Heck, I don't even really want me time right now, but tonight's thought while I was snuggling with Sabrina just left me feeling a little nostalgic bittersweetness perhaps...I wouldn't trade my girls for all the carefree evenings in the world, but darn it's nice remembering when the only thing I HAD to do after work was drive home.

Checking back in

I've been distant...nothing personal, but I want to be back. What's happened since my last post??? Oh yeah, I had a baby! Another girl. She is 7 months old now and adored by all in the house...right down to the dog. Poor Shelby...another baby who likes to pull on jowls. It's her own fault. If she didn't stick her face in the baby's to lick off whatever goodies where missed by the washcloth, she wouldn't get her jowls grabbed.

So what do you get when you have 3 girls?? An onslaught of "So, ya gonna try for that boy?" Am I the only one who thinks this is a horrible message for our children? Sorry girls, you weren't good enough so we had to try again to get one with a Y chromosome. Or how about the message to the youngest child? We only had you to see if we could get a boy, but we kind of had to keep you. But when you're pregnant all these people come out of the woodwork with, "Oh, it doesn't matter what the baby is as long as it's healthy." Apparently, that is only the case UNTIL the baby is born. After the birth it seems to matter a LOT what the baby is. Even my oldest is chiming in.

her: "Mommy, I want a little brother."
me: "Why?"
her: "Because, I don't have one."
me: "We don't have a cow either but that doesn't mean we are going to get one for the back yard." 
her: "MOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!

So what do you think? If you only have boys or girls, what do you say to those who put their 2 cents in about pro-creating until you have the opposite sex? Does not having a child of the opposite sex bother you? Do you love it? Share your thoughts.