Really? It's been this long already?

I was getting the girls ready for bed tonight...baths, comb hair, brush teeth, argue about one more song...the usual routine.  As I was laying down next to Sabrina (part of the 'routine') I was struck by the fact that I could hardly remember what it was like before they were born.  I love my girls, don't get me wrong, but this was not a totally heartwarming realization.  That makes me horrible, doesn't it?  It's just that, Sabrina is 4 now.  Almost 5.  How is it that 4 1/2 years can practically obliterate so many more years of memories???  My husband and I will joke every now and then with thoughts like, "Do you realize how much money we would have right now if we never had kids?" or "Do you remember when we would just be finishing a shower, for ourselves, to get ready to be going out at the same time we are now putting kids to sleep and wishing we could follow right behind them?"  How is it that 4 1/2 short years with these little people can make me almost forget any of what was once JUST me...and him too I suppose?  Does that person still exist?  Do I want her to?  Do I need her to?  I was not wild and crazy, but I did have stuff I liked to do.  And I know I can still do the things I liked to do, but it's different now.  If you're a mom, people can tell you all the time, "Oh, you need to take your 'me time'", but we all know that never works out as well as it sounds.  Truthfully, I don't need a lot of me time right now.  Heck, I don't even really want me time right now, but tonight's thought while I was snuggling with Sabrina just left me feeling a little nostalgic bittersweetness perhaps...I wouldn't trade my girls for all the carefree evenings in the world, but darn it's nice remembering when the only thing I HAD to do after work was drive home.