Lady...it's just a card

First off, I hope everybody had a wonderful holiday. Ours was lovely and non-eventful...thank God! I did have an interesting moment though, while I was shopping for my cards. I send out the family picture ones, but I usually make my way to the card store because my aunt's birthday is 2 days before Christmas so I'm really there to get her a birthday card, but the red and green section just starts to call for me while I'm there so I get a few extras-usually for the godparents, and a cute Daddy card for my husband. This year though, I was struck by a few thoughts while perusing the daddy cards. Thought number 1: husband was probably NOT standing in front of a Mommy Christmas card section in any card store in any part of our state now or at any point of the pre-Christmas shopping frenzy. Thought number 2: the girls don't have to buy just a daddy card. Thought number 2 was especially poignant for me. My parents divorced when I was very young-I think 5 or 6. I only remember a short amount of time when they were together and one of my earliest Christmas memories is of my father telling me that this was the last Christmas we would celebrate together. I think they thought the presents would soften the blow. Their split was amicable, and really there was no drama. I often say that the best parenting they displayed was the way they handled their divorce. And considering they were only maybe 25 when it happened, and there was no Dr. Phil to tell them how not to screw us up, they did a darn good job. However, there wasn't such concern about maintaining parental relations back then so my mom never took us out to buy a gift or card for our father or vice versa. When I was old enough, I did this on my own, and made sure I always got my father a card "Merry Christmas to a Wonderful Father" and one for my mother, "Merry Christmas to a Wonderful Mother". Or I could pick the non-descript, "To my Parents" with no mention of "mom" or "dad" if I wanted to include my step-parents without making it appear that I was giving them the same reverance as a mother or father. That is how my holidays were, it is mostly what I always remembered and I never really gave it a second thought-that's just how it was. As far as I know I'm well adjusted, and I love my parents. But while I was standing in front of the cards trying to find the perfect mix of little girl cutesieness and sentiment to sign my daughters' names to, it struck me...they don't have to buy a card just for Daddy-they can get the Mommy AND Daddy cards. They have a mommy and a daddy, in the same house, who are celebrating the day with them, at the same time, who love them and each other. As ridiculous as it sounds, I almost teared up in the card store. Well, anybody who really knows me knows that it's really not THAT ridiculous that I would tear up in a card store, but that's a different story. In my head I know my mother and father could never have stayed married to each other, but a little part of me that only creeps out in card stores and when planning the seating arrangements for certain parties is sad that it went the way it did. The reason I got teary is because I realized that our marriage is a gift that my husband and I give to our children everyday. For whatever saddness I may feel regarding my parents' divorce, I am grateful for having experienced it because it helps me to realize and understand what a blessing I have in the husband and marriage I have, and for what our girls will be able to learn and experience from it. So I bought that Mommy and Daddy card and just chuckled at the confused look on my husband's face that read, "So, does this mean I'm not in trouble for not getting you a card?" Merry Christmas to me! :)

I LOVE these cookies!!!

First, let me say, I am not a cookie person. There could be a whole plate full of them in front of me and I would be fine without eatting any of them. I'm a potato chip gal myself. Love me a nice fresh bag of Herr's or Wavy Lays....oh yeah, babe. But I digress. I just ordered cookies for my and my husband's grandmothers for Christmas. They are in their 70's and 80's respectively, so what the heck else do you get for them for the holidays? Drives me batty every year. Last week I got a catalogue from Cheryl&Co. When I found this in my mailbox I was giddy with excitement to say the least. Somebody had sent these to me after I had my first child and then again after I had my second. When I received them, I thought that it was a nice gift, but being as I'm not a cookie person like I said, I wasn't uberexcited. In my postpartum gluttony, I eventually cracked open the adorable "It's a Girl" tin the little gems came in. Each cookie is individually wrapped, which just keeps them nice and fresh. My favorite is the frosted cut-out cookies. I think they are butter cookies...OMG!! Not too sweet, not crunchy....melt in your mouth DELICIOUS. The other types are good too-chocolate chip, oatmeal raisin...they all taste like you just pulled them out of your own oven. If you have to buy a gift for somebody, and you don't know what to get, please check these cookies out. You will not be sorry. Our grandmothers both have sweet tooths, so I know they will enjoy them, but even if the recipient isn't crazy about cookies...they will be after trying one of Cheryl&Co.'s cookies.

I am watching this by accident

Because I'm too lazy to change the channel (the surge of energy from watching The Biggest Loser has totally worn off already), I'm watching Mamas Boys. OMG!!! Most of these girls should so sue the editors of this show. I'm giving them the benefit of doubt, but there is no way they can be as clueless as they are being portrayed. One girl is from the area I live in and I chirpped into my husband, "Hey, one of the girls is from around here." Then she spoke...mental note...don't brag about this tomorrow at work. And why, WHY, when there are women married to mamas boys all over the world lamenting their plight, would you go on a show looking for one??? I hope there is redeeming value to this show...there has to be, right?

One more thing...

How is it that I am able to bring both the girdles to that Conair sale with me-unscathed, but my DH can't bring Sabrina to an auto parts store where her aunt works, without calling to tell me that he has to bring her back home because she just "won't behave"? Me? There by myself with nobody to help for almost 2.5 hours total with a gazillion other people. Him? At an auto parts store for maybe an hour, where his SIL is working and playing with her niece b/c it's an auto parts store on a weekend 2 weeks before Christmas...how crowded are they now, really? I'm not complaining. I know this is how it is all over the world for 98.7 percent of the mothers out there, but the at times glaring discrepency is just humorous and a bit mind boggling.

Maybe I should clean more often

Friday night my husband had his annual Christmas party. Spouses are not invited, so I was home alone with the girdles. After I put Sabrina to bed, and the baby fell asleep, I had an urge to just really clean my kitchen. I mean I pulled the stove out to clean the floor underneath it and everything. It looked wonderful when I was done. Sabrina comes down the next morning and is sitting in the dining room eating her breakfast. She looks into the kitchen and says, "Hey. Why'd you get a new kitchen?" I DIDN'T GET A NEW KITCHEN! I JUST CLEANED IT!

Calligraphy

I've been trying to start a little calligraphy business. It's a slow process-mainly because I don't want to get in over my head before I feel that my calligraphy is as good as I really want it to be, but I've been getting a few jobs lately and it's going well. I created a site with samples and such. Click on the picture over there on the side of this page and see what I've been up to. Please, feel free to pass it along to whoever you would like. I'm taking a class to learn a new font in January, so I'm very excited to get going on that.

Hello DYFS...let me explain

OMG-this child. LOL. Sabrina was kneeling on the floor in front of our coffee table yesterday. My husband was sitting on the sofa throwing the dog's tennis ball through the dining room into the front living room for her to chase and bring back. This is Shelby's favorite thing to do when we are inside. Have I mentioned Shelby? She's our almost 2 year old Lab mix. Adorable, but a bit of an ooof when it comes to moving around. On one of her passes she bumped Sabrina which caused her (Sabrina) to hit her lip on the table. She cut the inside of it and it puffed up pretty quick. She'll live, but there is definately a noticeable swelling. Fast forward to daycare drop off this morning...I'm telling the daycare provider what happened precisely for the purpose of her NOT thinking I cracked my child one. I say to Sabrina, "Tell Debba what happened to your lip." The little darling cocks her head and says, "Um, mommy beat me up." WHAT!!!???? Lucky for my our daycare provider knows this is not true, but I was still dying. I'm sure Sabrina heard me say to my husband, "People are going to think we beat these children" and she ran with it, but does her timing have to be that "perfect"?

She was sooooo good

So I finally did get to that Conair sale. For anybody in the Middlesex County, NJ area who might possibly be able to get to this and who needs any Conair or Cuisinart items-I highly recommend you go. It was fantastic. I had never been before, didn't know what to expect, and thought it would be no big deal to bring the girls. I didn't bring the double stroller because I anticipated some sort of a crowd and didn't want to maneuver it. I brought the stroller base for the baby's infant carrier and expected Sabrina to walk. I managed to find a parking spot in the actual lot of the factory, so I thought that was promising. Got the baby in the stroller base, and explained to Sabrina that there were going to be a lot of people here so she needed to stay very close to mommy and she needed to listen to me and behave. We go inside of the factory and were herded into the line that was the entrance into the actual sale itself. I heard a rumbling that it would be an hour and a half wait just to get in from where we were at in the line. OMG! I thought I should totally leave-there was no way they (the girls) would be able to take that long of a wait in line. But seeing as I was still drunk on the morning's aggravation, and didn't want to go home, I decided to give it a try. This child absolutely amazed me. The baby was a mute point-figuratively and literally speaking. She was either laughing and smiling at everything she looked at, or she was sleeping. Sabrina however? She could not have been any better if I drugged and bribed her. As we weaved throught the amusement park type line, I kept eyeing the most accessible exit point...just in case. I think every mom with a 3 year old automatically looks for how to get out when she brings her children into a place that just begs them to go crazy. She played a little bit with the ropes that were strung up to keep us in place, but other than that, she was amazing. She listened, she stayed by me when I asked her to, she played with her little purse and the treasures she brought in with her. She was adorable. I had my moment of "mom pride" when a lady behind me said, "My two grandsons would never behave as well as she is right now." I just wanted to cheer, "YAY SABRINA!!" The woman in front of me told me I was a brave woman for brining a 6 month old and a 3 year old to this event alone. I should have told her that ignorance is truly bliss as I had never been to this sale before and didn't know what it entailed. When we actually got inside...it was crazy. There were people everywhere. They had these really cool "carts" though that were boxes with a hole punched in them and a heavy plastic "leash" looped through the hole. You put your items in the box and drag it around. I, thankfully, wasn't there for a lot of things, so I had the genius idea of putting Sabrina in the box and pulling her with the few items I got. So here I am, pushing a stroller with one hand and pulling a box with a 3 year old, toaster and hair dryer in it. YAY MOMMY! LOL. She thought it was a blast...until she tipped herself out of the box. LOL. Poor thing was laying there..."I've fallen and I can't get up." I got her her own box and she pulled it around like it was her puppy. When we got back to the car I gave her such a big hug and thanked her over and over again for being so good. She could have asked for anything and I would have begged, borrowed, or stolen to get it for her. She was wonderful and I was so grateful. Somebody must have been watching out for us and knew that neither me nor Sabrina could not take anymore on our plates this morning. We had a nice day together.

Not my finest hour

I'm only posting this because I hate to read those blogs or forum posts where the parents are always holier than thou and always have the right answers and do the right thing. I messed up today and wanted to put it out there. It has been a rough weekend so far. I have my period. Sorry for TMI, but it seriously effects my normally laid back, everything is going to be fine attitude. For this entry, please totally disregard my my husband is such a wonderful guy entry. My husband is still working on completing the baby's room, so he is consumed with that today. It started last night with our trip to Home Depot, and his not wanting to ask for help, and the jerk of a "customer service" person who had to condescendingly answer any of the questions my husband finally did ask him about the outlet box he needed to get. In my head I kept saying, "Let me hear that tone ONE MORE TIME BUDDY and I was going to calmly (only because the children were present) tell him to shove that outlet box right where the stick that was effecting his attitude must have been lodged. I hate going to Home Depot with my husband when the trip has a purpose. Now, I'm in a mood. And of course, I'm totally proactive with dealing with this. You know...sulking, with a puss on my face, and short mono-syllabic answers all the way home. I go to bed hoping to wake in a better mood. Daylight broke, and it was promising. Hubby got up with the dog and brought the baby (still in our room) down with him so that I could sleep later. Very appreciated especially since said baby was up at 4am for a little nosh. So I got to sleep until 8 am. The very fact that 8am is now sleeping in is still problematic for me. I go downstairs, have a very big cup of coffee, say good morning to the girls and silently say a prayer to be able to keep my patience today. Didn't go so well. Part of what annoyed me last night was that I told my husband that I wanted to go to the Conair factory sale today, and I wanted to go see my grandmother who just came home the other day after being in the hospital for a week after having a major chunk of colon removed. Nowhere in that conversation did he tell me he was going to need my help with the room until I ASKED him, "are you going to need my help." And why did I ask? Because I knew that he was going to expect it in the morning while I was trying to get out the door and then it was just going to be a bigger problem. So I figured I would just cut my losses and ask. He was going to need my help. OF COURSE HE WAS because WHY would he be able to do any of this by himself??? I can take care of everything else that needs to get done, including the girls when he has these projects AND help him at the same time, but he can't do any of it by himself.?! In my next life I really really REALLY want to come back as a husband!! So I help for 1/2 an hour. Well, that's how long he said it would take. However, all you wives out there know that in order to convert "husband" to real time you have to multiply by at least 2. In the time that I was helping I'm silently listing all the things I too need to get done today, that just don't seem to be important to anybody else but me AND dealing with a whining 3 year old who seemed to wake up this morning with the sole ambition of pushing me to my very limit. Now, I know that she is not doing anything on purpose, and I know that she is 3 and her crankiness and skutchiness is a direct response to our not being totally accessible because we were working on the room...I KNOW all that. Didn't make it any easier. I really really really tried to keep my temper in check and not take it out on her. I really tried to tell myself, "you're not yelling at her because she did anything wrong. You're yelling at her because you are in a FOUL mood." I kept trying to not take it out on her and I was doing pretty well-deep breathes and all. I was finally able to get the 3 of us (me and the girls) ready to go to the sale and asked husband to come move his truck as he was parked behind me in our driveway. He asked if I wanted to switch strollers. I said yes and he took the big one out of my truck, put the smaller one in, and put the one he removed from my truck on the front porch. Now, I'm sitting in my front seat waiting for him to get in his truck to move it so that I can leave. And I'm sitting, and sitting and sitting. Now I start thinking, "He didn't forget. He couldn't have possibly went back inside forgetting to do this." I get out of my truck, walk into our porch and into our house. Yup, he forgot and was downstairs sawing the bead board for the baby's room. I just grunted, "You have GOT TO BE F'N KIDDING ME!!!" I open the basement door and yell down. He can't hear me. I stomp my foot on the floor and yell and he has the nerve to yell up with an annoyed, "WHAT?" I just started crying, "I asked you to move your truck!!!" Now, I'm about ready to have a full blown melt down. I get in the truck and start to cry and my 3 year old, bless her heart asks, "You otay mommy?" I try to pull it together, but it wasn't even 2 minutes into our ride that she starts whining, "Mommy, I want to hear punkin patch. Punkin patch mommy!" (Pumpkin patch is the Charlie Brown Christmas song they play on the radio now that was played on the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown Thanksgiving show that is in constant rotation on our TiVo) I explain she has to wait until the radio man plays it...not good enough...continued whining and whining and whining. I broke and I yelled at her to shut up. As soon as I said it I wanted to crawl in a hole. She told me not to say that because it wasn't nice. I feel horrible for saying that to her. Just horrible. I know there are a ton of worse things I could have said to her. I know there were a ton of worse things MY mother said to me. That doesn't help me to forgive myself. After she reprimanded me I told her she was right and I shouldn't have said that. I apologized and she said, "It's otay mommy." God, I love that kid! And I hope to be better tomorrow.

Wii Fit Giveaway

I was just in Toys R Us last night checking out the Wii Fit, thinking-this would be so nice to have. And what do I see this morning on my favorite bride's blog...a link to a Wii Fit giveaway. It has to be a sign!!! So I'm paying it forward. Check out La Petite Chic's blog to get in on the chance to get your own Wii Fit. And hey, if you win and realize you don't really want it...I know somebody you can give it to as a Christmas gift...and she's been really good this year!!

I am raising this girl RIGHT!!

I stayed home with the girls the other day. My Tuesday sitter was home sick, and it was more econimical to take a personal day and stay with them rather than sending them to the regular daycare provider and having to pay for the day. That's fine with me, because I love to have an excuse to have a fun day home with them instead of having to stay home because one of them is sick and we can't do anything. I decided, too, that since I would be home all day, I would get a jump on some laundry that had been piling up. My husband is usually the one who does the laundry-a) he doesn't like how I do it (he's an engineer so his "there's a wrong and right way to do everything" persona extends to all aspects of housework as well-knock your socks off buddy!) and b) I suspect he uses doing laundry as a way to not have to change diapers-but since I was home I wanted to do it. There is a point-wait for it.

I put Sabrina down for her nap a little early so that she would be up in time to go to the doctors. Of course, because we had to be somewhere, she slept longer than she usually does, and I had to wake her up to get ready to go out. Now, she's cranky. I tell her we have to brush her teeth and she begrudgingly goes into the bathroom. She starts whining, "I don't want to do it. I want you to do it." With the previous night's Nanny episode still fresh in my mind, I don't react to the whining and I simply say, "Ok. I'll help you. That's what mommy is here for-to help you...and to do laundry." Well, my girl turns, scowls at me, and says, "NO! Mommies don't do laundry...DADDIES DO!" That's right honey-you keep on insisting on that!

Yes, I pierce their ears!

And if you don't like it, I don't care. LOL. I took Corrine with us on Tuesday so that the doctor could pierce her ears. She was so good and only cried when he did the actual piercing. By the time he had all of the stuff cleaned up, she was smiling and happy again. I just think they look adorable on her, and all baby girls for that matter. People get mad though when they don't agree with piercing a baby's ears. "How can you do that to a poor little baby?"-like I'm branding her with a hot iron or something. I'll admit, I did tear up a little when the doctor did it. I don't cry with their shots, but this does make me a little emotional because I am voluntarily having some amount of pain inflicted on them, but it's not torture for crying out loud. My sister thinks I'm terrible for doing it. I kept teasing her when she was pregnant with my niece that I was going to sneak her off to have her ears pierced. Ironically, my sister, who has about 10 holes in one ear, insists it will happen over her dead body. Wouldn't you know it, my niece was born with the smallest earlobes I have ever seen on any living being. An earring wouldn't even fit on her ear. Little booger!

No shots for the bad girl?

Three year check up time...WOOHOO. So we make the trip to the doctor's on Tuesday for Sabrina's check up. It's looking like my girl is shaping up to be tall and thin-33 inches tall and 31lbs. She was very excited to step on the "big girl scale" and ever so kindly informed me with her extended pointer finger, "No-the docka do it" when I stepped closer to the scale. Well excuse me, little miss! Her "docka" checked her out and said she was just fine and up to date on her shots so we could leave. However, on our way out he remembered she needed her flu shot (apparantly a law in our state that she has to have one if she's in daycare). So back in we go for the shot. Now, I should have said something, and in hind sight, I don't know why I didn't, but the dr. asked me to hold Sabrina down so he could give the shot in her leg. I don't think she needed to be held down-she's like her father and likes the attention and PROOF of medical attention, and I think it just made her more anxious because she started crying and yelling, "NO NO NO". The nurse and I keep telling her, it's ok, you're being such a good girl and she screams, "I want to be a bad girl!!"

Here's to finding a nice man

My two year old cracks me up. I am a sarcastic person by nature. My father before me is as well. We feel it's a gift. Sometimes I'm funny, sometimes not so much, but I always have some kind of funny thought in my head. My 2 year old seems to have inheritted this trait from me. And thank God for that. I love my husband, but he's a little too literal at times and my sense of humor is lost on him. But, Sabrina? This girl is going to be FUNNY! For the past couple of weeks she has woken up with a crusty, glazed donut monster (thank you Bill Cosby) nose because of the sniffles. In order to distract her while I de-glaze I say funny things like, "Who brought you all these boogies? The Boogey Man??" She laughs and doesn't scream while I fix her face. The other morning she woke up with a clean nose (YAY), but a huge knot in her hair. Again, I try to distract her while I get it out. "Who brought this knot for you??" She says, "The Boozshy (love how she says that) Man." I say, "What? He leaves your nose alone but now he has to mess up your hair? That Boozshy Man is not a nice man is he?" She says, "No, he's not. Mommy-I need a nice man." She's a natural.

I'll trade ya Christmas

I was watching my TiVo'd Oprah today (or Aunt Oprah as my daughter and I like to call her) and it was the episode from the other day where she featured ways to save money. A couple of girlfriends were on there and each of them wanted to redo their living rooms, but couldn't afford it because both of their husbands work in housing construction and business is slow. So they traded furniture and redecorated that way. And with that I had my light bulb moment, as Aunto Oprah likes to say. Why couldn't we do this for Christmas? I have a good amount of people on my Christmas list, many of those are kids and small ones at that. I'm always looking to save on the gifts for this time of year. My daughter was born in November and I wanted to rewrap some of her birthday gifts for Christmas the month later after her 1st birthday. She was only one-she would never have known and we all know that one year olds only like the boxes and paper anyway. My husband didn't go for it. So I sent the e-mails to see if I get any takers. Let's trade toys!!

Decisions, decisions, decisions

Presidential debate or The Real Housewives of Atlanta...I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO WATCH!!! Phew....Real Housewives is on again at 11. On to the debate. Just a warning though...if I hear the word "maverick" one time, JUST ONE FREAKIN' TIME, I may stroke out.

Cheerleading

I went to my nephews' football game yesterday. I am able to get to about 2 games a season and love watching how good they are getting. They are 8 and 10 so they are on the peewee team, or whatever little league for football is called. The younger one is a smaller kid and looks so stinkin' cute in those pads and helmet. Helped him get through 9 guys to get a touchdown so he doesn't mind at all. Now, with peewee football players come peewee cheerleaders. These are undoubtedly, the cutest little 6 and 7 year old cheerleaders. Unless, of course, you were sitting on the other team's side of the field. The matching pig-tails, squeaky shouting, uber-excitement-totally sweet. What I can't, for the life of me, wrap my mother of 2 little girls brain around is why in the world the adults who are in charge of teaching these girls various cheers think it is a good idea to teach them cheers that have them shouting "Shake your booty" or "split the V, dot the I, curve the C" and performing the novice stripper moves that go with those lyrics all for the benefit of the adult audience in front of them. I might have been able to chalk it up as just maybe slightly inappropriate until I heard the coach of these 7 YEAR OLD girls yelling at them in the middle of one of the cheers, "Shake those hips girls. That's what God gave 'em to ya for." I wish I was making that up. At that point I looked at my sister slackjawed. She's the mother of the football players who also has my 1 year old niece coming up in the ranks. She laughed because she knows how much the cheers infuriate me and said, "That's why this one is doing gymnastics." Yeah, well don't even get me started on my confusion as to why male gymnists get to wear pants and women have to wear the wedgie one piece. There are plenty of cheers for these girls to do that do not include shaking booties and pelvic thrusts-why can't they just do those cheers? Am I just being overly sensitive because I have 2 girls of my own? What do you think?

Daycare

Yesterday was my girls' first day back at daycare since I left for maternity leave back in May. I wasn't sure if I was going to be returning back to work. I wanted to be able to stay home with the girdles (as my grandfather used to call us), and was making a go of having my own home daycare, but that was not to be. I only had one client and no prospects of any additional curtain climbers. So with the financial world swirling around us in the pre-flush twister and an offer waiting for me at my job, we decided that I should come back to work. It was with a twinge (and by twinge I mean hundreds of hot pokers jabbing at me from every angle) of guilt that I sat down with my 2 year old and asked, "If mommy goes back to work will you be sad to go back to Debba's?" We had had almost 4 months of 24 hour a day togetherness. Most of the SAHM's I've talked to have always spoke about how your child needs and wants you more than Elmo and fruit snacks combined. They told me that she would forget about Debba and just be so happy to have her mommy home with her all the time. mmmmm hmmmmm. I should have remembered my step-father's quip, "Who's this they? And why do you care?" She looks at me and says, "You stay with me Mommy?" uh-oh here it comes, she's going to freak. I'm a horrible mother. I say, "No, Mommy will have to go to work." She tilts her head and investigates further, "You drop me off?" yup-she's going to start crying when I say yes. Why couldn't I have hit the lottery while I was home. "Yes." "You take baby sista work too?" now she's going to give me grief for leaving her sister too??? has she been talking to my grandmother and I missed it? "No, she'll go with you." "Me go Debba's now?" great, now she's going to think I want to get rid of her now and don't want to be with her. will her therapy be covered?? "No, not now. In a few weeks. Later later later." "ME GO DEBBA'S NOW!!!!!!!!!" And everyday after that the same thing. You would have thought Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and the Fairy Godmother all were coming to visit her the night before the first day of daycare. She was THAT excited to go to sleep so that she could wake up and go to Debba's. Why do I listen to what other people say about me leaving my girls with a non-family daycare provider? Why do I let them plant the seeds of doubt about whether my girls are happy there, when I KNOW they are happy and loved? Why do I care what they say when they don't know my girdles or their Debba? Silliness I tell ya-just plain silliness.

Now for the chicken incident

For as wonderful as my husband may be, his memory is absolutely horrible. Amazes me that he can remember the stats for every NFL player on his fantasy football team, but can't remember that I told him 7 times that we have to go to a birthday party for our nephew over the weekend. So yesterday I was watching Oprah and it was about overwhelmed moms. The zenny, feel good speaker she had on was saying how HE didn't understand why husbands weren't the first line of defense in combatting the feelings of being overwhelmed. We should be telling our husbands when we are feeling overwhelmed and ask for help. I so wanted Oprah to say that we really shouldn't have to ask, considering that nobody is ASKING us to do what needs to get done-we just do it. Why does a woman have to ask her husband to take the full laundry basket down to the basement? He sees it is full doesn't he? Anyway, after watching the show, I did the dishes, prepared the bottles and juice cups for daycare the next day, packed the diaper bag, completed daycare paperwork, bathed the baby, and set the coffee pot up for the next morning. As I was taking the baby upstairs to feed her and put us to bed I asked my husband, who had been sitting on the sofa watching Gladiator for the 100th time (I love that movie too) to please bring a roaster up from the basement freezer so that it would thaw and I could put it in the crockpot in the morning for dinner. He said he would do it. I then made direct eye-contact and said, "Please do not forget to bring the roaster up from the freezer before you come up to bed." He said he wouldn't. I walked upstairs hoping he would disappoint my expectations which were that he would forget. So I get up this morning, nurse the baby and get dressed to let the dog out and take her for her walk. I get downstairs and lo and behold there is no thawed chicken to be found. Took the dog for her walk and came home to his lowered head and "oops I did it again" smile when he saw that I took something else out that I could get in the crockpot before I left for work. I'm going to find that zenny feel good Oprah guy and tell him "SEE-THIS is why women are overwhelmed." Ask for help? Sure...then he just forgets and I'm more overwhelmed because now I have work harder to figure out what to do since he forgot to do the thing that would have helped me NOT be overwhelmed.

Sssshhhh-don't tell anyone...

My husband is a great guy. If you have a great husband, don't you find that you can't often proclaim that in mixed company? It's like you're not allowed to be part of the club if you don't complain about the guy. He's not perfect-remind me to tell you about the chicken incident from last night-but he is a darn good man. And yes, I've told his mom that she did a good job raising him. He does laundry, bathes our oldest daughter (the baby is still too slippery in the water for his comfort), and cleans the bathroom. Ready for this? He does these things without being asked. My aunt would kill me if she heard me praising him for this. She would say, "As well he should!!" Funny thing is, I don't think he would like me bragging about him either. As much as he takes pride in being one of the good ones, he's not exactly sitting around with his buddies telling them how they should be helping their wives in the kitchen because she would appreciate it after having cooked dinner that night. He keeps it very hush hush when it comes to how hands on he is with the kids and other tasks that don't involve a lawn mower. Those same guys are slackjawed though when my husband tells them that I "let" him go on a week long fishing trip while I stayed home with our 6 month old daughter, or "allowed" him to play poker with his buddies. "How'dya pull that one off?" or "Man, you must have caught hell for that." They don't get it. Why can't they all see the circle. He does his fair share in our home/marriage, I don't complain about his hobbies or time he spends alone, nor he mine. I don't complain about his hobbies or time he spends alone, he does his fair share in our home/marriage. Their loss I guess. I'm just glad somebody, somewhere let my husband in on the secret.

So how does it work?

How free do people get with these things? Any reprocussions? I'm thinking it will sooooo be typical for me to write something that lets me totally get something off of my chest, but then at the next family event an aunt or somebody says, "So, I was on the computer and saw your blog" that just happened to be all about them. Ooops. Has this happened to you? What did you do? What did you say?

Yes, I'm a follower

A friend of mine has been happily blogging away sharing all the details of planning her upcoming wedding. I love reading what she writes and always think how much my husband would have loved me to have a blog when I was planning our wedding. Not that he remembers all of the discussions, but I'm sure his heart would not have been broken if I was posting blogs about flower colors and heel height concerns. My friend is able to discuss the all consuming planning without the inevitable eyeroll of her betrothed, and their relationship will be all the stronger for it. It's a win win situation for everybody. So I thought, "Hey-here's a bandwagon I can jump on." My husband is my best friend, but I know he gets tired of hearing the vents about work, how our families drive me cucko sometimes, etc. I wonder if he'll miss it when I'm not complaining about his brother, or if he'll just walk away muttering, "Thank Blog!"